I hate my fucken inlaws

Naw nothing really serious in this one-I just hate my fucken inlaws and I will in fact piss on their graves.

Movie Rant Part Two-35% less cursing

Megatron was a fucken gun!!! Did anyone forget that shit?? If my memory serves me correctly, Megatron would turn into a gun and I think Starscream would wield him. And let me not forget that I thought that all the Decepticons were planes? Or at least 90% of them were. My point is this, it pisses me the fuck off that they treat the fan boys likes this. I have a simple resolution. Make a version of the movie for us-straight to DVD because fan boys hate light and crowds, and make a mass market version for the folks who don’t know what the fuck they are about to witness. Take for example the sodomistic mess that Spider Man 3 was. Eddie Brock in the comic was not that small in human form and if I remember, he used to intimidate Peter around, not the other way around. They gave us a slim version of Venom who just plain sucked. Here is my version; they should have left the Goblin and the Sandman out. Insert bigger Venom, and bring in mother fucken Carnage, Doppleganger, Deathlok, Carion, The Sinister Six, Morbius, Cloak and Dagger and a guest appearance by Captain America. Take all that shit and recreate the Maximum Carnage storyline-IT WILL WORK PEOPLE. Well, I don’t know about the Sinister Six but still, good concept. What else pissed me off….Ghostrider, Blade 2 and 3, the first Punisher, Daredevil, the first Hulk, the whole X Men trilogy and Spider Man 3. Yes I said it, all those pissed me off because I grew up reading half that shit and they could not get them right for the big screen. And oh yea, half of Transformers, that Megan Fox could get the old in and out if she fell into a coma right on my front lawn. Does anyone else think that CarryAnn moss is hot? I watched her in Momento and she is was not that bad looking, looked fucked up in the Matrix but those leather pants did show off her ass. Two other actresses I have an odd obsession over is Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman….for some reason they would get the interracial facial from me.

What pisses me the f@ck off-movies

Alright, I am not going to receive any flak about this first part but I hate Shia Labouf or how ever you spell it and Micheal Cera-from Juno and Superbad fame. First, Shia is not a fucken actor, he is a figurehead, an entertainer, a "celebrity". Thre is a difference between celebrities and actors. Cage used to be an actor, now to me he is a celebrity (Bangkok Dangerous anyone?) Mel Gibson in his Ranson and Braveheart days was a fucken actor, Reeves in none of his movies was a fucken actor, he's like a cardboard cut out with a dam voice. Micheal Cera is just a fucken pussy, the roles he plays are so fucken soft I wanted to choke his ass to death, revive him then blow his head off. Now that I got that off my chest, I did not like X MEN 1-3 and a huge chunk of Transformers. You have to remember, I am a fanboy and I grew up reading and watching that shit. I did not "feel" the X-Men movies. The movie never fucken convinced me I was actually watching mutants instead of staring at Famke Jenson wishing she would psychically fuck Berry in the danger room for a good two hours. When I watched Iron Man, I felt like I was actually watching the real Iron Man. The same thing went for Blade, one of my favorite Marvel films, it was raw and it pulled no punches at all, you felt like this is how blade would be if the fucker was real. Same thing for the Dark Knight, Ledger was the fucken Joker, hands down and it scared the shit out of me. Now to Transformers, Megatron was a God Dam Gun, not a plane and I bet in the cartoon, the animated fucken children were not sweaty and super hot, making you grab your crotch every time that Megan chick pretended to care that robots were trying to kill her. Transformers was a combination of the Rock, Bad Boys and Crimson Tide. Same music, same camera angles, just different actors and situation. For part two, I need more robots, regular looking people because I am sure that the decepticons did not kill off all the fat and ugly people, and I need more robot action, not that fake I will fire at you and it does nothing shit. Keep Ms Fox because I got a new bottle of lotion and get rid of that faggot Josh guy, or at least let a decepticon sodomize him. As for X-Men, make everyone their comic book age, bring in Apocalypses, Strife, Master Mold, Cable, Omega Red, X-Factor, X-Force, Alpha Flight, Excalibur, Domino-hell I could go on and on, just do something to bring my faith back in the series. Until that day comes, I will watch Blade on repeat, keep my self warm by burning copies of DarveDevil and GhostRider and cry in my fanboy sleep.

Racism Rant *foul language alert*

First off I am not entirely black, heck; most people that have known me for years ask me what I am. Let me break it down simply, I am mixed with Black, Spanish, Asian Indian and a smidgen of white. Now, racism is a touchy subject, most people think it’s gone, and when asked, most just turn their heads. I grew up in the MD/DC area, with fellow blogger and writer Troy Allen. To be honest, I have never experienced racism when I was living up there. Our high school, our neighborhoods, our places of work was all mixed. I mean there was internal racism, black vs. Puerto Rican and such madness like that but for the most part, never been discriminated because of the color of my skin. Now, fast forward ten years and by the grace of Satan I live in a redneck part of S.C. This is the place where all the blacks are forced to work fast food; the Latinos work in back rooms of restaurants. These are the type of fucks that think the South won the War and Jefferson Davis is the leader of this fair country. I did not move down here a racist man, I loved and hated everyone the same but people, if you are exposed to enough racism, does that make you so? Every day I live here, I hate the populace more and more. Everyone of these fucks look the same, big SUV’s, tied back hair with sunglasses inserted, sandals with socks, and that God Dam smug expression that they are better than everyone else. You think I like it when I get looked at like a fucken zoo animal? And don’t get me started when you pull up to one of them and you are driving a better whip then they are, they get fucken red in the face. I pray to see Black people, any kind, I don’t care. I pray to see someone else who does not have fucken blond hair. Now people don’t get me wrong, my wife is white but Jesus fucken Yosemite Christ, these people need to learn that blacks have been freed, the North won the war and an African American has been elected president. Maybe these fucken yahoos will wake up, step outside their trailer, look at their sister/wife and say maybe, just maybe, I will graduate high school, get a promotion at the Piggly Wiggly and put the tires back on that old Z35 Iroc Camaro. Or maybe they will just continue fucking their own sister, either way, I need to get the hell out before you find me hanging from a tree. And oh yea, to everyone that this concerns, camouflage should not be worn to a fancy restaurant and take down those dam McCain signs.

GateCrasher Saga Part 1

The Zenos landed on our planet about six years ago. To the shock of everyone, they seemed peaceful and the fact that they looked like us calmed our fears even more. Of course they spoke their own language but they adapted to ours very quickly. They claimed they were here to help us, they have been observing our race for quite some time and they wanted to prevent our planet from dying, just like theirs did. They worked with our scientist for about two years, sharing technology, teaching us their ways, everything seemed wonderful at first. Two years ago, the first series of bombs went off, one in about every major city. The first blow was critical and after that, things turned really nasty. Dropships appeared out of nowhere, soldiers chocked our streets. Vehicles crushed and destroyed anything they saw. We also learned the hard way that we were their food source. Soldiers ate people on the street, tearing them limb from limb with their razor sharp teeth. People ran and hid anywhere they could, the Zenos all but disabled our ability to fight back and we did what we could. It was a downward struggle but some of us never lost faith, the Zenos may have had the better technology but they could never beat the human spirit.

The Zenos looked like us in every way but the difference was what they were made out of. Their skin was a metal alloy, they had micro computers that regulated their health, they were quicker, smarter and more ruthless, and they never took anyone alive. Their military tactics were something that could have been worked on though. Their main attack was to rush their enemy in force; we have never seen anything else from them. A year after the first bomb, the humans took shelter in burnt out buildings, old military bases and underground. The Zenos patrolled the areas, mainly to crush the rest of us and to find food. The main reason for their attack was unknown to us; we assumed they went from world to world doing the same thing. Who knows, they could just have something against us.

A year after the first bomb is when we began to fight back. Sick of being hunted, and living in fear, we decided to strike back out of pure rage. The first report came when a group of people in Maryland ambushed a Zenos patrol during the night, killing them all and stripping them of anything they could have used. News of this sparked a rise in morale and soon resistance cells started to form. Also, the conventional Army started to rebuild in private as well, since they were the only major force left. Soon, we began ambushing convoys and patrols at night, showing neither mercy nor remorse. Surprisingly, we took minimal casualties during the uprising. Soon, people started to loot old guns stores, old military armories and what not to arm themselves. We started to get better organized as well, old soldiers taught regular civilians combat tactics and military maneuvers so they could be more effective during the fight. Soon, smaller cells started to combine into bigger cells and the ambushes started to happen during the daytime also. Growing in morale and strength, we started to attack their bases of operations using the heavy artillery we either obtained or stole from them. The Zenos did not expect for this to happen. In all their years of planetary domination, their victims never fought back with this type of intensity. Not knowing what to do, they simply tried to hold their ground at first. Then they unleashed a campaign of terror, increasing patrols, launching rocket attacks at random and even covering their vehicles in live human bodies to kill our morale. After several unsuccessful attacks, we finally managed to capture the main base in Maryland, after that the smaller bases fell in succession. News of this made people in other states fight harder and news came of other countries rebelling as well. The resistance had done it, with some help from the Army. If it was not for their tanks leading the charge, they would have never taken the base. Now the tide of war was turning, we were taking it to that ass and enjoyed every minute of it.

Marcus and his crew operated out of the main resistance base in Maryland, which was in human control at the moment. The base, along with several small bases and the Army were fighting to regain control of the surrounding states. That meant heavy fighting and suicide patrols to get in and arm the population or get them out, whatever the situation demanded. Marcus’s patrol was heading into Virginia currently, there was word of a major Zenos resupply on route and their job was to intersect it. Driving the heavily armored SUV was Cameron, manning the machine gun on top was Valarie, the medic Maria, the dismount Wade and Marcus was in the front passenger seat, manning a side mounted machine gun. They were traveling down the highway at around 50 mph and the mood in the truck was the same as always, apprehension mixed in with glee. They were about twenty minutes away from their objected. When it was reached, they were to sit and wait, for the convoy. Wade would hide with a RPG to hit the first and last vehicle while Valarie, code named soccer mom, would unload with the machine gun at any infantry dismounts. While this went on, Marcus would radio in for mortar fire to put a hurting on the convoy. Now if this actually worked, it would remain to be seen.

Cameron pulled the vehicle up beside a bombed out building. She unhooked her seatbelt, stretched and drank the rest of her water. Soccer mom cleared the area visually and Wade jumped out, opened the tailgate and prepared the RPG’s. Marcus made sure they still had radio communication while Maria munched on an old candy bar. “Everyone locked and loaded?”Marcus looked at the crew and everyone nodded. Wade came up to his window and asked him to clear that building with him, claiming that he looked to board. Marcus grabbed his assault rifle and joined Wade up the steps and disappeared. Valarie asked how everyone was doing and started up a conversation just to keep morale up. Maria shuffled through her medic bag and asked Cameron what the plan was again, stating that a major convoy like this would not be that easy to ambush. “That’s why it’s called a suicide mission” retorted soccer mom. “They don’t think we have the balls to attack this one”, “but then again, they don’t call our squad section 8 for nothing”. Unlike the conventional army, the resistance had no rules. They took no prisoners and routinely executed every disabled and wounded enemy soldiers. Soccer mom was the worst offender; she seemed to get a thrill out of it. The goal of the resistance was simple, find other survivors, protect civilians and destroy the enemy. Cameron tapped her fingers on the dash, “we got Wade in the building, soccer mom on the gun, I will set up the 25MM cannon near the remnants of that Church over there, Marcus will provide command and control and Maria…” Maria looked at her and said she wanted to fight; she always hid during missions waiting for someone to get wounded. Cameron smiled, “there is a grenade launcher in the back with a box of depleted uranium rounds, take cover near the truck when the times comes and just listen to Marcus’s orders, we’ll make sure you’ll have plenty of kills”. Seconds later the radio came alive, “Blood Ravens this is Resistance Command, over.” “This is Valkyrie, Resistance Command, over”. “Lieutenant Cameron, we have reports that the enemy convoy is on route and their expected time arrival is 10 minutes, good luck and call us when you need it” Roger that, over and out Command”. Cameron let the radio fall and told everyone to hustle. She got on the communicator and told Marcus that they would have company in 10 minutes. Soccer mom but a fresh belt of machine gun rounds into the tray locked it shut and locked and loaded. Cameron opened up the tailgate, handed Maria the grenade launcher, the box of rounds and pointed to a spot to hide from the enemy. She then off loaded the man portable 25MM cannon, slung it on her shoulders and grabbed a box of rounds in her other hand. She walked to the burnt out church about 50 feet from the vehicle and began to set up. Marcus arrived at her position about 2 minutes later with an additional two cases of ammo. He loaded a grenade into the tube beneath his assault rifle and made a comms check with the rest of the team. Wade was in the second floor of the building armed with an RPG and about 6 rockets. Soccer mom was still in the truck, ducking in her seat with a pair of binos glued to her face. Maria was sitting in the remnants of a toll booth, down on one knee waiting for the first shot to be fired. Wades voice squawked in their ears a moment later, “we got movement, coming northwest up the main road, as we expected”. A moment later, Wade came back over the net, “we got a gravity tank in front, followed by 2-3 troop transports, followed by a very large anti gravity truck that is very heavily armored, followed by another troop transport, a light infantry fighting vehicle and we have foot soldiers walking along the convoy”. Wade’s voice came back over the net again but it was shaking, giving the sign that there was something terribly wrong. “At the end of the convoy is a nightmare machine, flanked by armored combat suits”. Marcus stopped breathing for a second and shook himself back into reality. “Are you sure?” Dam fucken right I’m sure; I will never forget what that monstrosity looks like”. A nightmare machine was a walking abomination that rained death wherever it went. It was a mobile weapons platform, armed to the teeth with artillery cannons, heavy machine guns, and pulse weapons. It was also a command base and troop transport as well. For some reason the Zenos fashioned it after a huge arachnid and it was rumored that they used humans to fuel it. Seconds later they began to feel the ground underneath them shake. The first couple of vehicles came into range of the naked eye. Soccer mom’s trigger finger began to itch but she also had to stop herself from shaking so bad. The nightmare machine meant bad news; there was no way their squad could even try to take this thing on. But to Marcus, this was just another day and the man that lead the first strike against the aliens began to think quickly about the situation.